Throughout my life I have learned the hard lesson of the importance in investing in friendships with other women. In high school I had an awesome group of girl friends. Unfortunately, when we went off to college I lost touch. People kept saying that you make new friends in college and high school friends drift apart. So, going in I had that mindset and I didn’t bother investing in long distance friendships. However, everyone else apparently did keep in touch. Now, as a adult I am saddened when I see old friends together and I am not there. They have deep ties that span most of their lifetimes. They have been there for each other through thick and thin.
In college I made TONS of really close acquaintances. I was in a sorority (go ZTA!), worked in a local grill and bar, and was in all kinds of other organizations where I met people. But, I still only a couple of super close girl friends. My problem was, I consistently had boyfriends and if they wanted to do something I chose them over the friends. Now that I’m older, I realize how stupid that was, and see the amazing experiences and friendships that I missed. The boys didn’t last, but the friends would have! Oh, how I wish could go back and have a serious talk with my former self!
I’ve slowly realized the importance of staying in touch with friends, and being intentional about investing in the relationships around me. Loving people is the most important part of life. Jobs, locations, seasons of life all change, but friends should be forever.
10 TIPS TO INVEST IN WOMEN FRIENDSHIPS
Text friends frequently. Try for once/week or more. Don’t overthink it. Send a silly GIF if you have nothing to say.
CALL them occasionally! Hearing a friendly voice, or seeing someone on Facetime adds a connection that a simple text cannot.
Interact on InstaStories. This may be foreign to some of you, but this has made a huge difference in stayi an active part of a bestie’s life that recently moved 7 hours away. It has also developed closer friendships with people who were formerly acquaintances. Post and comment on each other’s stories! It is so fun once you get used to it.
Take pictures together! We take billions of pics of our kids, however, we neglect to take pics of ourselves, much less friend pics. I have a plethora of pics with college friends, and it shouldn’t stop just because I’m busy adulting! I mean, we’re all cool and fun still, so let’s take more pics! These days they may be goofy, with dirty mom buns instead of mini skirts, but at least we can have a laugh together.
Pray for friends. If you are a believer, make a point to ask them what’s going on in their life that they might need prayer for. Even if it’s through texts. This helps create a deeper connection, and everyone needs prayer!
Laugh and cry together! Laughter is the best medicine, and laughter with good friends is the icing on the cake. Some of the biggest laughs of my life have come when acting completely goofy with friends. It’s a good thing there is no video proof of our shenanigans! It’s okay to let loose and be silly. On the other hand, it’s also okay to let loose and have a complete break down with your friends. I’ve had my fair share of those, and I’ve also been the shoulder to cry on. Women are best when they stick together and lift each other up when in need.
Empower each other! Lift each other up! Support each others dreams and adventures! This look different for every woman. If she’s a stay at home mom, acknowledge that you see the struggle, or tell her she’s doing an amazing job. Same goes for a working mom, or a single mom. My biggest pet peeve is when women don’t support each other’s goals or big dreams. Speak words of encouragement, breathe life into their dream, or just ASK THEM ABOUT IT! If there is a tangible way you can support them, try and do so where you can. After all, real queens fix each other’s crowns!
Make lady dates! This is the biggest one that I have had to learn. It is easy to get so busy with boyfriends, husbands, children, family, friends, work, etc. that we don’t make time to interact on a real tangible level our friends. My husband used to always tell me how important it was for men to have guy time. I used to think that was ridiculous. Now, I realize it’s not just men, it’s women too. When I spend time with girl friends I feel carefree and energized. (Some ideas: play dates with kids, park, go on a walk, going out to dinner without kids, go shopping, get a mani/pedi) The picture above is with my dear friend, Emily, at a fun, reoccurring event in Houston, called The Confetti Market. It was so nice to get away, relax, do some shopping, and of course, take a fun girly pic together!
SAY YES!!! Okay, y’all! If someone asks you to do something, say yes! I get that sometimes you have obligations, but for the most part we tend to ‘make ourselves busy’. Or, maybe you’re too tired to commit. I get it, I’ve done it. But what I’ve realized is that people stop asking if you keep saying no. You may feel busy and overwhelmed, but if you would just say yes, and get yourself there, you would feel so much better with that little bit of female interaction and friendship.
Most of these tips are fairly common sense, but sometimes seeing them from a different person’s perspective helps sheds a new light. Hopefully this inspires you to make a point to make time for female companionship. Oh, and if you have ideas for great lady dates, please share! I’d love to hear them.
Now, Go forth and be friendly!